Tall People Need to Respect Other People's Property

The other day I was at Barnes and Noble. That's a bookstore that sells books. You should go there sometime. I think you'd really like some of the books they sell at that store.

While I was at Barnes and Noble I had to pee. Luckily Barnes and Noble has a bathroom in the back. It's next to some books. I went inside the bathroom and urinated into a very low to the ground urinal. Here is a picture:

You should notice how high up the linoleum tile gives way to wallpaper way above the toilet.

While peeing, I looked up. It's never good practice to look down while peeing at urinals. All the insecure people think you are looking at their mediocre pee sticks. You're not. You're making sure you don't get any trickle or splashback on your khakis, but whatever. When I looked up, I noticed the following vandalistic note:

Oh dear. I took the wrong exit and landed right in the middle of Cocktown. 

This message was written in Sharpie six feet and five inches above the ground. Since people only vandalize stuff that is at least eye level with them, clearly a very tall person wrote the name of this town on the wall. I feel bad for the vandal. The vandal was obviously very tall and using a urinal that, as mentioned, was really low to the ground. By the time his waste hit the toilet, it had most certainly gained enough momentum to force constant drip splashes onto his shoes. He might even have worn flip flops. That's probably why he was so angry and so vandalous. 

My point is, it's probably just best for everyone to avoid literate tall people during the summer, as they have gross feet or shoes.