HIGH SCHOOL REUNION: I Graduated With a Black Person

I think one of the reasons people think high school reunions are going to be awkward is because deep down a lot of people fear that their ex-classmates will remember all of the embarrassing moments from the past. While reunions are not awkward (THEY ARE NOT), that's not to say they don't have a few weird moments. It was weird to see Scott B's small children who looked exactly like miniature Scott Bs. If it was my nightmare instead of my reunion, I would have assumed the apocalypse started amidst an invasion of miniature Scott B people. Also, some people are bald now (me) and some people are fat now (not me!) and some people think jeans with big rips in the kneecaps are fashionable (Ian?). Ian, those jeans aren't fashionable. Lots of people have kids now too, but that's not really weird. People have been having kids since high school.

But the weirdest of all, the STRANGEST OF ALL, is that I graduated with a black guy I didn't know about. Let me be clear: my high school has a history of white-ocity (white-icity?). When I was in seventh, eighth, or ninth grade a black man who attended my future-at-the-time and past-in-the-now high school committed suicide. The incident briefly shone light upon the fact that Cedar Falls, IA (at least at the time) was almost entirely white. The mother of the student claimed the community was racist. I don't know about that, but high school can be difficult enough when you are "normal" and have a slight difference--you're an athlete who likes to read, you're a cheerleader who likes to read, you're a high school student who likes to read. I can't imagine how difficult high school would be if you had an obvious, visual difference...even if that difference really doesn't matter. Racism or not, being "different" is never easy.

Out of my class of 400+ people, I could have named four black people I graduated with before the reunion: Owannatu, Robert, Deondre (who is a great example of someone who tried to fit in by hiding his blackness: he refused to go by the name Deondre and instead requested to be called Jimmy because it sounded whiter), and Wendy.

HIGH SCHOOL REUNION: It's Not That Awkward

Leading up to my ten-year high school reunion, I heard a lot of people mention, "it will be awkward." No specific reasons were given for the potential awkardicity. I would even ask, "Why will it be akward?"  I wouldn't be given a clear answer. I would be told random musings about how it's always strange to run into people from high school.

Here's the thing though: it's not. It's not awkward if you're a well-adjusted, socially adept person (of which--SPOILER ALERT--I am). Why do people feel running into people from their past is such a bad thing? Is it because the people from their past knew them when they were an immature, irresponsible goon? Or maybe because we spent so much time with our high school classmates growing up that they've seen us at our worst and most of them departed our lives before seeing us at our best? Or maybe because you spent your childhood talking to your former classmates about your dreams and your hopes for the future and are secretly worried they'll judge you if your life turned out differently?

Look, I'm not a professional wrestler. I'll admit it. It turns out I'm not 300 pounds of solid muscle, nor do I like taking steel chair shots to the head. Sometimes it's okay when life turns out a little differently than how you thought it would when your biggest concerns were listening to Blink-182's latest CD and mastering your Knights of the Round materia in Final Fantasy VII (that was officially the nerdiest reference this blog has made).

It doesn't have to be awkward though. If you take all the thoughts, all the regrets you had from high school, guess what...the person from high school you are talking to probably has similar regrets and similar thoughts. It's called growing up. You do dumb things (like get pulled over by the cops for barking at police dogs--which is a crime). You do mean things (like having your kid sister tell Brad Johnson that no one is at your house even though there are thirty cars outside and a pile of shoes at the front door). But you do those dumb and mean things and learn from them. That way, when you see the people you grew up with in ten years, you aren't arrested and haven't become an asshole. People understand this.

It's not awkward. It's just sort of life.

HIGH SCHOOL REUNION: What I Learned About Lesbians

My ten-year high school reunion was this past weekend. I graduated with a class of four hundred plus people. I knew more than half of them and remember much less than half of the half plus I knew. I was excited for the reunion. I liked high school. Yes, it was shallow, it was vain, sometimes we all acted completely ridiculous, but it was fun. It wasn't the most fun in the world. No, the most fun in the world is having a good spouse, a good job, and some stability in your life. Duh. I'm the most fun in the world. But high school isn't bad.

I think this week I'm going to try to write a few short blogs reflecting on the reunion or parts of the reunion. I don't see much need to write one long blog that no one will read about the reunion or parts of the reunion.

But, before I do any reflecting or talking about real memories, I'd like to address lesbians. Last fall, while out for dinner my wife and another couple, I saw a bachelorette party being thrown for a lesbian. It was a unique bachelorette party to say the least: There was no penis stuff anywhere. Lesbians--not a fan of penises. I tried to determine while people-watching the party if both of the soon-to-be-married lesbians were there. I could not determine that. I wondered: When gay and/or lesbian couples get married do they have separate bachelor and bachelorette parties?

I'm not saying that both members of the relationship share all the same friends, but surely most of them feature some people who would be invited to both parties. This would lead to an interesting scenario where people could actually attend and compare both of the "pre-marriage" parties--generally people only attend one, aligned by gender.

Anyways, I have good news: On Saturday night, after my reunion, I ran into a very nice lesbian woman I know (she played softball with my wife). She was being pretty open with me about how girls are crazy (they are) and how we (people who like girls) put up with a lot (so much). She was basically an awesome and accurate lesbian, so I asked her my bachelorette party question. Here was her answer: "Obviously we'd have two separate parties. If we go somewhere and some woman wants to rub her shit all over my shit, I don't want my fiance there."

I've wanted this question answered for nine months, and that was easily the best answer I could have received. So, file that under mysteries solved.