HIGH SCHOOL REUNION: What I Learned About Lesbians

My ten-year high school reunion was this past weekend. I graduated with a class of four hundred plus people. I knew more than half of them and remember much less than half of the half plus I knew. I was excited for the reunion. I liked high school. Yes, it was shallow, it was vain, sometimes we all acted completely ridiculous, but it was fun. It wasn't the most fun in the world. No, the most fun in the world is having a good spouse, a good job, and some stability in your life. Duh. I'm the most fun in the world. But high school isn't bad.

I think this week I'm going to try to write a few short blogs reflecting on the reunion or parts of the reunion. I don't see much need to write one long blog that no one will read about the reunion or parts of the reunion.

But, before I do any reflecting or talking about real memories, I'd like to address lesbians. Last fall, while out for dinner my wife and another couple, I saw a bachelorette party being thrown for a lesbian. It was a unique bachelorette party to say the least: There was no penis stuff anywhere. Lesbians--not a fan of penises. I tried to determine while people-watching the party if both of the soon-to-be-married lesbians were there. I could not determine that. I wondered: When gay and/or lesbian couples get married do they have separate bachelor and bachelorette parties?

I'm not saying that both members of the relationship share all the same friends, but surely most of them feature some people who would be invited to both parties. This would lead to an interesting scenario where people could actually attend and compare both of the "pre-marriage" parties--generally people only attend one, aligned by gender.

Anyways, I have good news: On Saturday night, after my reunion, I ran into a very nice lesbian woman I know (she played softball with my wife). She was being pretty open with me about how girls are crazy (they are) and how we (people who like girls) put up with a lot (so much). She was basically an awesome and accurate lesbian, so I asked her my bachelorette party question. Here was her answer: "Obviously we'd have two separate parties. If we go somewhere and some woman wants to rub her shit all over my shit, I don't want my fiance there."

I've wanted this question answered for nine months, and that was easily the best answer I could have received. So, file that under mysteries solved.