It was a rough week. A bad thing happened. Luckily for me, I can always go to the nearby Olive Garden to cheer me up. Because when I’m there, I’m family. This is good, because when I’m with family I become an Olive Garden? Or are there more than two variables at work here? It’s only confusing if you think about it. So, America, DON’T THINK.
Olive Garden commercials are the best. They share similar themes: everyone smiles too much. Everyone laughs too much. Everyone says stuff that real humans don’t say. Everyone says stuff with giggly hiccups in their throat. Everything is generally interracial. Kids like their parents. Parents like their kids. The staff likes their customers. If you could pull Utopia out of my imagination, censor the nudity, add in my family, and place it in an Olive Garden, wah-la! Good advertising.
That guy was way too proud of himself for multiplying six and seven.
Check out the woman’s look about twelve seconds into this video, right after the guy suggests ordering something different and switching plates later. That is an evil giggle. She has no interest in switching. She wants him dead, grilled, and served on a delicious bed of creamy pasta. While I understand unnecessary giggling, I don’t understand doubly unnecessary giggling. Why must they giggle why ordering their entrees? There is no humor in that. None. Such dark times we live in.
That one is a brain buster! Was the person who couldn’t tie his shoes the little boy or the adult male cuddling with the little boy?
We are a family that loves to shop at Kohl’s and eat at Olive Garden and give our children ugly haircuts.
I hate to judge, but maybe they should hang out with a third wheel who isn't as repetitive?
The good news is, Olive Garden being a source of upliftenment will never end! They’ve been uplifting all of us since at least 1993! Thanks fairly mediocre pasta restaurant with unending breadsticks. We love you too.
As a related aside, why are there so many Olive Garden commercials on Youtube? Why are people posting these? I'm happy they are, but why are they? What is their goal? What is their purpose? What plans does the deity of your choice have for them? Each answer just brings more questions.
As an equally related aside, why do so many of the commercials have the actor's or actresses' name in the title of the ad? Aren't they ashamed? Do they think they did a good job? Do they think they can act? They cannot act. They are very bad at acting.
As a final point related to my first paragraph, it was a rough week, but thanks to moderately priced and excessively cheesy Americano-Italiano dishes, I'll be happy forever now.
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