Did you see the new movie trailer for the new movie, "Devil" that came out today? You should watch it. It says it's from the mind of M. Night Shymalan which is really too bad. It looks bad, but it looks bad in a way that it might be good if it came from the right mind. Unfortunately M. Night is a really bad mind and should stop making movies. What marketing guy in Hollywood still thinks M. Night's name is marketable? Someone in LA needs to find this marketing man and pass on the following note from the Midwest:
Dear Marketing Guy,
No one likes M. Night Shymalan. Have you seen The Happening? He has his characters run from the WIND for chrissakes. The wind! And some of them successfully do this! Do you know how fast wind is? It's really fast. I think it's the fastest. I know it's faster than my car, and my car is really really fast too. His other movies are bad too. He's been going straight downhill ever since he cast Mel Gibson to shout obscenities and racial slurs at thirsty aliens to scare them off the Earth. Can you imagine what's going to happen at the "Celebrating 10 Years After Signs" party on the Larry King's Replacement show? In one corner you'll have the mentally ill Joaquin Phoenix still doing his performance art rap crap routine because he's a celebrity, and he's so funny that he can do that, and in one corner you'll have Macauley Culkin's brother trying hard to not be Macauley to no avail because by then they'll have become one, and in one corner you'll have the girl in that movie doing normal girl things like riding a pony or brushing her hair, and in one corner you'll have Larry King's Replacement being British, and in one corner you'll have Mel Gibson telling his ex model girlfriends that they can't use any of his money to pay for the nanny for their child born out of wedlock and bloodily slashing Christ and shouting Freedom! and threatening to burn the place down right after receiving a blowjob. It will be really confusing is what I'm saying, and I'd rather it not happen. But in order for this not to happen you absolutely have to make M. Night go away. You are the last hope marketing guy. There is no one left, but we'll always have the memories.
Thanks.
The Entire Midwest and Everyone Else Too
The theater the Viceroy and I were in emitted a distinct chuckle when "FROM THE MIND OF M. NIGHT SHYAMALAN" popped up at the tail end of the trailer last night. I think its time for him to change his name. I suggest Mohinder. Just Mohinder.
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