I remember back during the week of July 18th-24th in the year (remember years? hahaha) of 2010 when the weathermen and the weatherwomen and the sexually androgynous meteorologists said it was going to rain all week and then it didn't rain at all. That was funny. No one watered their lawns because of all the rain they were supposed to get, but then all their lawns died because there was no rain. There was never any rain. Weathermen sure were stupid.
That's why I'm so glad that our president decided to get rid of all the people who predicted stuff. He gave everyone three chances. "Once you make your third wrong prediction, you will no longer be able to be called an expert, and you will have to get a new job, not experting things." At first people were so mad because who was the president to try to hold others accountable and interfere in our lives? He was a nobody I guess. But then all the predicting started. And all the predictions from the experts were way too wrong for anyone to stay employed. That was bad for them but it was good for everyone else, obviously. No one had ever actually followed up to make sure their guesses were correct.
The last weather reporter made it to his ninth consecutive broadcast before predicting a snow that spat out more as an icy rain. He was a legend at weather bars everywhere.
Now when I leave the house in September I make sure to bring a light jacket in case it gets cold, no matter what. I don't base this behavior on the actions of a guy on my hologram-projectile-entertainment-dimensional-cubing-machine who got his education from a nothing.
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