I FINALLY finished For Whom the Bell Tolls by Ernest Hemingway yesterday. It is exactly 130 pages too long. It would have made a great 341 page book. Instead, it made a too long 471 page book. Also, he kept using, “thee” and “thou” when people spoke. This came across as “stupid” and “fake.” I may be no cultural expert, but I do know that in 1901 the hill people of Spain did not use “thee” and “thou” to describe people whilst drinking their moonshine.
Also, the lady character in the book was pretty much a submissive sex fiend. According to Hemingway, sex cures rape. I don’t think that’s true, but then I’m not a boorish ass of a man either, so what do I know? Lots. Lots more than Hemingway is what I know.
On the Wikipedia page dedicated to this book, I learned that this book is one of the three books that inspired President Obama the most. If I had known that before the election, I don’t think I would have voted for him. I’ve not voted for people for stupider reasons (see: Edwards, John and the promise of meatballs).
Either way, the book, as a whole, was much better than the movie I also finished this weekend: Universal Soldier 2: The Return. Now that’s a real bad movie. It was about an hour and twenty three minutes too long. It would have made for an okay one minute movie, as long as I had something else to multitask and do during that one minute. If I didn’t, it wouldn’t even be a good one minute movie. It would be a bad one minute movie. What a terrible minute.
Have there ever been two more different pieces of entertainment completed by the same person in such a short time period? No. There hasn’t been. Ever.
By my calculations those meatballs single handedly won the White House for Obama, you should feel honored to have been an important part of meatballgate (yes I invented a word, but its not like anyone will ever see this anyway)!
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