Last Friday I sat at the Moon Cafe, with my good friends Luis, Tyrone, Zheng, and Drazen. We talked about all those problems we're having with illegal aliens lately. We didn't mind the illegals at first, when they minded their damn business and did all of the work we didn't want to do. I mean, they've been on our Earth and our Moon for years now, and they still want to try and communicate with mind melds and glowing hand motions? Why haven't they bothered learning the Official Language of Earth: Spagermenglabosnobonics?
We're also pretty fed up with the fact they are always playing laser tags with their lasers (set to stun mode) and nodding their large green foreheads back and forth. What type of color is it to be green anyhow? They look different and weird, and I don't understand it one bit. And why can't they get in their spaceship cars like the rest of us? We get it, they can beam into their spaceship cars from wherever they are. That's not cool. We have hands for a reason and that reason is to open doors to things we want to get inside. If my great grand-daddy simply beamed into the Waldorf Hotel, he would have never met my great grand-mammy by holding the door open for her. They would have never procreated. I wouldn't have been born! This could happen to all of us!
Luis and Zheng told me that they heard that where they're from, the aliens have eight wives each and haven't even heard of the Mohommachrist. That's probably why every one of them is a murderer and a rapist and kills cute puppies for fun and no other reason. I don't know about you all, but I'd feel much safer if we just told all those aliens to go home. This is our Earth, you weirdos.
Your fu-tire is so poignant.
ReplyDeleteWhy is it that your blogrolls don't feature my genuine most recent post, which was a short misrepresentation that the Sharpie Man would be reappearing soon, which I posted in January?? I INSIST ON BEING MOVED UP IN THE RANKINGS!