Two weeks ago, while in a Minneapolis bar and restaurant, I had to pee. Don't worry, I didn't hold it long enough to permanently damage my manhood. I'm glad I cleared that up. Anyways, I thought it would be rude to pee at the table, so I went to the bathroom. The bathroom had two urinals. The man at the urinal next to me would not shut up. He started to ask me questions. I didn't hear the questions originally because I tend to ignore people while I pee and also those who are peeing. This guy next to me didn't really stand a chance to be listened to.
So the guy wanted to talk about the advertisement in front of his urinal. It was for a Minneapolis suburban golf course except the pictures in the ad were from Scotland, Spain, and Sweden (just like Dolph). How do I know this? Because two minutes into the drunk guy's rant (we had since washed hands but continued talking about the picture) a man walked in and asked us, "Do you like that?" I'm glad he meant the picture. We said we didn't understand it. I didn't really care to understand it. I wanted to leave the bathroom please. The man said, "I manage that club. We like to f*** with people in our ads." I said he was a genius, even though I really had no idea what his IQ and mental capacity was. It was a figure of speech.
The manager of the club then said, "Since you guys are talking to me in the bathroom, why don't I give you both a round of golf for free." The other guy started to wig out because he was drunk and never before had a drunken mystery turned into a day of free golf. Normally the mysteries led to weird itching sensations. I was non-plussed because really, when the hell was I going to golf in a Minneapolis suburb? The bathroom stranger could have at least tailored his gift to suit my interests. He told us to email him. He asked for our names. I told him my name was Brent because Brent was who was getting receptioned the next day, and he likes to golf. Basically, I got Brent free golf for his wedding. You're welcome Brent. Your gratitude better be included on the thank you card.
As always, there's a lesson: Whenever a stranger in the bathroom starts to ask you questions, strike up a conversation...you might just get yourself a present.
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