Wednesday, June 30, 2010

A Puzzling Lack of Sleep

Yesterday my wife and I had a discussion, and it was agreed upon that I need to get more sleep and eat less suckers. I’m happy to report that today I did not eat any suckers. I’m unhappy to report that it is currently 11:30 at night, and I’m not in bed. We have a party to get ready for. This means I had to start putting up shelves in the garage at 8:00 last night. I then had to run with my sister at 10:00. Yes, I had to do all those things. I’m me: when I want to do something I have to do it or some strange part of the universe is unfulfilled. Would you want to live in an unfulfilled universe? I didn’t think so. Anyways, I succeeded at both.

As I sit here and cool down before hopping in the shower (naked time!), I am starting to think of the conversation I had with my wife yesterday about me burning the candle from 500 ends and being tired all the time. That’s pretty ridiculous if you think about it. How could a candle possibly have 500 ends? It would be horrendous and impossible to light. What type of stand would fit a 500 ended candle? None. None stands would. Target would be so mad because of all the stands they sell for normal candles that wouldn’t work for these new 500 ended candles. Also, is it even possible to have 500 intersecting lines? I’m sure mathematicians would say, “of course, you can fit an infinite number of lines within any circle,” but mathematicians are too nerdy by nature, and I’m not going to listen to them. Shut up all you mathematicians! Your wiles and charms are ineffective against me!

Now, while I do agree that you could squeeze line after line into a hypothetical circle, when you would actually cover those lines with a finite amount of candle wax, you would run into a problem. You would not be able to have all the ends of the candles cross in one place I think. Also, it wouldn’t be a very attractive candle. It might smell good though. I don’t think you’d have to sacrifice scent simply because you created the world’s dumbest candle. Actually, you could have all 500 ends be a different scent. It would be similar to the Laffy Taffy Twist candy which is so delicious. I think I just made your dumb ass candle somewhat appealing. Hot dang!

One last question though: Where would all the wax go? I think the wax would start dripping on the other candle ends. That could be a huge problem created by your impracticality.

But yeah, I’m very tired. Also, I want a sucker. I think it best I go shower, sleep, and wake up in four and a half hours. 500 candles. *shaking head*

2 comments:

  1. Reading this blog was like reading the diary of a crazy person. I mean this as a compliment.

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  2. If you can theoretically fit sideways 8 lines in a circle, you can similarly fit 8/2 = 8 lines in half a circle with each line passing through the center of the circle.

    Gah, this is too complicated. I've sent you a jpg. Please post it as a post-note on your blog if you care to share it with the world.

    And don't say it would be impossible to make. I have a system for its construction in my head. It would be a real bear to draw though.

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